this meme is doing the rounds

1. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
We're married, and we had a date last night. We went here and here.

2. Pretend you've had 10 beers. what you would be doing right now?
feeling intense regret

3. What do you want?
I want a quiet life, and I usually have one.

4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
Let's just say that some of our mutual friends call him "the God".

5. Do you talk to yourself?
Yes, but only when I'm by myself. I also pull faces at myself when I look in the mirror.

6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
I never drink milk, it's made me gag ever since I was forced to ingest some at four years of age by an evil kindergarten teacher.

7. Who knows the latest secret about you?
Only me.

8. How long is your hair?
Two hands' length from the crown

9. Do you like Batman?
not at all

10. Who was the last person who told you they loved you?
Richard

13. Do you like anyone now?
I like my family and my pets and my friends.

14. When was the last time you lied?
Oooh gee, it was late last week and it was a doosie.

16. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No

17. What instant messaging service do you use?
SMS and email

18.Last thing you cooked today?
toast with butter

19. Did you have a nap today?
no but I did sleep in and then finished a novel before I got up.

20. Who's house did you go to last?
whose, you mean ... my neighbours'

21. What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
sweats? do you mean trackie dacs? Neither, but I wear yoga pants at least twice a week.

22. Why is the sky blue?
because it reflects the ocean?

23. Do you like green beans?
love them! Tossed with garlic and olive oil

24. Do you swear a lot?
oh for buggary's sake

25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Marrickville op shop

27. Do you use an alarm clock?
clock radio - Fran Kelly wakes me on weekdays

28. Where was your default MySpace picture taken?
n/a, but my facebook picture was taken in the Tate Modern - how about that?

29. Do you ever snort when you laugh?
yep

30. Whats the first thing you notice on the opposite sex?
height & girth

31. Is cheating ever okay?
only rarely

32. Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes, I want Madonna to be my friend

34. Do you wear underwear?
often

35. Do you wear a bra?
How very dare you

36. What Size?
How very very dare you

37. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
very social, although I love time alone

39. Do you have a tan?
sometimes, unintentionally

45. Are you afraid of the dark?
Never.

47. Do you miss someone today?
My daughter, because she's in Byron Bay.

49. Do you still have pictures of you & your exs?
Sadly, yes, hundreds (of photos, not exs)

50. Who's always there for you no matter what?
My parents.

memes for the night before a holiday

1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT
Labour with first and only child seventeen years ago "failed to progress" after 18 hours. Obstetrician, so brilliantly called Mr Pickett-Heaps, came from golf course to perform emergency caesarian section. The anaesthetist, a glamorous older woman, gave me an epidural and I entered a state of great bliss. "You'll hear a ripping sound" Pickett-Heaps said and sure enough I did, like cardboard being torn. Then little Ruby was lifted out of me & the burning indigestion (she'd been pressing on my diaphragm) that I'd had for 3 months disappeared. And, apart from having webbed toes, she was perfect and remains so to this day.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
A few spiderwebs. A drawing of two people walking up separate sets of stairs that lead to a small dark European-style tree with exposed roots. It reminds me of Joan Aiken's The Cuckoo Tree, which if you haven't read yet you should. If I had another daughter I'd call her Dido. Although Sparkle-Pony is hard to beat.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Boring, functional.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Antony and the Johnsons.

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
The lovely Mr Griff.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
More than anything? Peace of mind forever more. Guarantee of good health for me & my family. A few grandchildren in about ten years. A windfall to pay off the mortgage. A Thai-style massage. A falafel roll.

7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
Of course.

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
Maybe about 9pm?

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
Yes and they even hold hands sometimes.

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Scrubs is on the TV in the background.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
I get scared of some things, but never the dark; I love the dark.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Myself.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Guerlain's Nahema, but it's very rare, so I'll have some of Jo Malone Pomegranate or Vintage Gardenia please. My mum used to wear Tabu & I still love that. Also, my first boyfriend gave me Chloe so it brings back very lovely memories.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Ridiculous question.

15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
Of course.

16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
No way, I ask everyone out.

17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Ooooh, potato & rosemary... basil & tomato... mushroom & ricotta.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Just about anything vegetarian. I'm starving, Richard is still cooking dinner. Olive oily smells are wafting from the kitchen. Tabbouleh is waiting on the table.

19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I'd love to know. Maybe a student whose essay I failed? I honestly don't think I make many people mad, I'm really really nice, or just deluded, but pleasantly so.

20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Of course. Two people, Richard (husband) and Sailor (dog) are both in love with me. Richard tells me so, and I can see it in Sailor's big brown eyes.